Notes on Parenting

Insights for parenting babies, toddlers, teens, and young adults.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Let Every Day be Valentine's Day: Model Good Relationship Habits for Your Children

By: Dyan Eybergen RN


As a parenting couple, you have a unique responsibility to model what a healthy relationship looks like for your children. Stand united in the way you raise your family through mutual respect and support. Take measures to show your children how to effectively communicate with one another: how to argue in fairness, and treat each other with mutual understanding for having your needs met. These communicated messages will have a huge influence on your kid's future success in the relationships they choose to have. 

This Valentine's day make a special effort to model good relationship habits for your children. Make a vow to make every day Valentine's day for you and your spouse. 


Here are five tips for how to model healthy relationship habits:

  1. Demonstrate the art of forgiveness. Learning how to resolve conflict without the cruelty of punishing each other with long silences and revenge tactics is paramount in teaching your kids a better way to resolving conflict and restoring order and peace within a relationship.
  2. Have mutual respect. In your relationship, it is important to show love in the manner that meets the needs of your partner; find ways to speak a love language your partner understands. The 5 Love Languages, a book written by Gary Chapman, details a proven approach to showing and receiving love through language that is in synch with your partner’s understanding and definition of what love is.
  3. Have each other's back. Especially in parenting—present as a united front and don't say or do things to undermine each other. 
  4. Support one another's dreams. Encourage through words and actions that support one another's pursuits. Help each other to find balance and happiness.
  5. Spend time together. Nurture your relationship; take the time necessary to stay connected. Show your children that the most important relationship you have, other than being their parent, is the relationship you have with each other. Date your spouse on a regular basis. There is no better time to start than this Valentine’s Day!


   

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