Notes on Parenting

Insights for parenting babies, toddlers, teens, and young adults.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

The Mommy Competition: When comparing notes turns ugly

Sure you know her. You’ve seen her at the grocery store and turned the other direction. You’ve seen her at the park and pretended to be tying your shoe. She’s that kind of mom. The kind that wears a cashmere sweater to an Infant Gymboree class. Cashmere? The kind that always has some home-baked goods at her house when you’re there. She had time to bake? The kind that puts her 10-week old in monogrammed chenille outfit and looks as if she stepped out of the Pottery Barn magazine. Who does that?  The mom who would never ever forget pajamas on Pajama Day. Yes. We all know her. She’s what I refer to as the “mommy one-upper.” She always has the newer, better, more expensive version of everything. We even fear her because she is the one who loves to ask that oh so popular question: “Can she do that? My child did that a month ago.”

Maybe their insecure or maybe they have a good reason for wanting to know. I remember hearing what I thought was a mommy one-upper say that she was all dressed up for the baby class because it made her feel better. Wow, good for her, I thought. So don't be so quick to judge.  I’ve found that the best thing to do is give moms the benefit of the doubt. Comparing notes is sometimes really beneficial and moms use each other as resources all of the time. Now it’s your turn to think about it. Do you participate in mommy competitions? Why do you think moms can be so competitive?

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