Notes on Parenting

Insights for parenting babies, toddlers, teens, and young adults.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Things To Think About Before Having More Kids

After having one child, I started introducing my son as my first and last kid. Having a baby was the most wonderful and most difficult thing I had ever done and at no time could I have ever imagined wanting another. But like many moms, as my baby became a toddler, I started to miss the sweet baby that needed only me and, to my surprise, so did my husband. Now, we are beginning to think about baby number two. As much as I want a large family, I wonder if I have the patience and sanity to raise two or more children. Here are a few things to consider when preparing for baby number two (although prayer is important too!).

1. Income - Can you afford more than one child? Diapers, formula, food, wipes, toys, clothes, ahhh!! Now, double that. As your children get older, they get more expensive, can you handle that? Kids become teens who need insurance, braces, cars and the list goes on! Talk with your spouse and without the emotion, try to realistically figure out how many kids you can afford.

2. Age - If you are in your thirties or forties, time is not a friend. While it is great to wait to have kids until you are ready, the older you are, the more chances of having children with problems can increase. Not to mention the energy you need to raise and care for these children depletes! Your 'desire' to have a big family can sometimes override your 'ability' to have more than one child.

3. Support - Do you have friends and family members that you can turn to for help? If you don’t, this is an important factor in considering more children. Having these extra people and hands to help can make the difference between losing your mind and staying sane when you just need a break.

4. Time - Are you working or do you plan on going back to work? If the answer is yes, then you may want to consider how much childcare will cost when paying for two kids. Some women 'need' to go back to work after having children (mentally and financially) but as it turns out, you may just be working to pay for daycare! Weigh the options of staying at home versus working. Is it worth the stress of holding down a job with multiple children?

Weighing your options and being 'realistic' about having more children may sound a little heartless, but it really is for the good of your family’s future and being realistic will help you and your spouse keep the kids happy and healthy.

**To those of you who are religious though, 'realism' may not be the entire equation. 'Realistically', the math may not seem to work out, but if you 'feel' through personal and couple prayer that the time is right then God will work His plan in your life.**

How have you decided whether to have more children?

Image Citation: Raphael Goetter

Guest post by Lisa Shoreland.
Lisa is currently a resident blogger at Go College, where recently she's been researching nursing scholarships as well as student loan forgiveness. In her spare time, she enjoys creative writing, practicing martial arts, and taking weekend trips.

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