Notes on Parenting

Insights for parenting babies, toddlers, teens, and young adults.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Self Esteem more important than Sex


New research shows that youth like getting a self-esteem boost more than they do sex, money or food.  For example, they would prefer getting a good mark on an exam, or getting a compliment from someone.

Unfortunately there have been some people, including the head of the research team, Brad Bushman, who felt that this wanting a self-esteem boost was addiction like.  That getting a compliment was like getting a band-aid for a deep wound; it actually does not solve the problem. This thought completely devalues the importance of self-worth.

Out of all addictions out there, wouldn’t this one seem desired and positive?  I would rather my child want a compliment over alcohol at a party or diving in for another snack.

I feel that life is almost all about addictions, or habits.  We all have habits, unhealthy and healthy.  We need to make choices as to which habits we would like in our lives. Wanting self-esteem boosts, I would say, is a valuable habit.

This study also revealed that we as a society have a massive misconception about youth.  We assume all they want is sex, food, booze and money. We are wrong. Maybe we should start trying to help our children do well on exams and tests.  Maybe we should pay them a compliment more often.  Maybe we should teach them that they are valuable.

Also in a different light, this study shows that our children are craving self-esteem boosts so much, to the point of addiction, because they haven’t been receiving enough at home, if any.  So as a parent, here are some ideas to help you boost your child’s self-esteem.

Let your child know that you love them. Daily.  Tell them or give them a hug.

Teach your child to hold to their values, as this will build a strong self-esteem.

Help your child develop positive thinking.  All actions and behaviours begin as thoughts.

Encourage your child to develop, and spend time in their interests.

Most of all, teach them that they are not defined by a paycheck, how many friends they have, whether or not they have had sex or by anyone or anything else.  They are the ones that define themselves. Their value is internal.

How would you boost your child’s/youth’s self-esteem?

Picture from FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

Written By:

Josh Lockhart
.....is Locking Hearts Together





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